The Conversationalist


THE CAR CONVERSATION

“I want a car!”

“Then you have called in the right place, we have all sorts of different car models that will fit your every day need. We specialize in it.”

“Oh really that’s great. So can you advice me? I don’t really know cars.”

“Certainly. If you are more adventurers, we have cars that you can drive through all terrains. If you live in the city we have comfortable rides that look fashionable while being durable.”

“Wow! What if I want a car that doesn’t use much fuel but can go many places. Like it doesn’t use fuel for ten days and can just keep going. One that is absolutely safe even when hit with a lorry. I also want it to work like my laptop. You know, a place where I can save all my information and access it easily anywhere in the world. Connect to Wi-Fi, Fax machine and all that. Can I get one like that?”

“Okay?… I promise you at the moment of its invention; we will have one set aside for you. I get the feeling you are new in…towns. So how about you get one of our deluxe models that you can watch a movie in and use GPS. How about that!”


HORROR FAULTS

“Why is it only one family that is usually affected by demon stuff? When will they make it a whole world pandemic and no one can solve it. Now that will be a scary show. There will be news reports on the latest demon attacks and what one has to do to keep themselves safe. Soldiers and military heavy weights will have to get involved. Particularly if it’s the type of demon that has to open doors to get in or is scared of the light or can be trapped by an object. It will be so cool with people resorting to life in camps or gatherings to protect themselves. Then the only one who discovers how to survive has already removed himself from society ages ago and can’t get the word out. Won’t it be funny if the only way to survive the demon attack was not something silly like not sleeping forever or not ending up alone in a building? But something like memorizing ancient text or building a sonic sound machine…”

“Sonic sound?”

“Some sound thing, don’t worry about it. This is a new way of looking at horror. Where it’s not just one silly family with the worst survival skills being affected, but everyone!”

“Hmmm, well, I have a long day. That will be 1200 shillings on your pizza and drinks.”


 Talking-cats

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